highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
