smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Duck Duck Cougar?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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