Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
