We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
