My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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