Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I party with great urgency now.
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