I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
