Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
