oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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