I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
