he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
