I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
