Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
