my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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