I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Farmville is her only friend.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
