I hate all girls vehemently.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
