I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
