Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
