I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Help. Why am I so naked?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
