Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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