Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
