That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
