dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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