Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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