Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
