I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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