we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
