i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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