He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
