So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i black out too much to be "responsible"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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