That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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