For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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