I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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