I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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