remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my being single is dangerous.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
