My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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