My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
