Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
