I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
