you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
