plz talk dirty to me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
