for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
