I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
