May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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