hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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