It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
