I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
