After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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