Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The air was thick with penises
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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