bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
