I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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