How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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